Living with Anxiety as a Mom: Breaking Free from the Overthinking Cycle

Have you ever double-checked the guest list for a playdate, debated whether to let your child attend a birthday party, or felt uneasy when your kid was out of sight? Maybe you’ve stayed up late imagining worst-case scenarios, wishing you could bubble-wrap your little one from the world. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Being labeled as an “overthinker,” “helicopter mom,” or “overprotective” can sting, especially when you know your actions come from a place of love, not paranoia. I’ve been there. Total transparency: I’ve been called all those things. I’ve struggled to let my child attend events where I couldn’t be present, and I’ve spent sleepless nights worrying about situations that might never happen.

Here’s the truth: anxiety in motherhood doesn’t come from a lack of trust. It comes from wanting to protect your child in a world full of uncertainties. If you’ve felt this way, let’s unpack what’s really going on, how it impacts you and your child, and steps we can take to navigate this journey together.

The Struggles of Letting Go

For moms with anxiety, even everyday decisions can feel monumental. Letting go is hard because it feels like you’re surrendering control over your child’s safety. Whether it’s allowing your child to stay over at a friend’s house, letting them go on a school trip, or even giving them more independence at home, the “what-ifs” can feel overwhelming.

• What if they get hurt?
• What if they feel scared, and I’m not there to comfort them?
• What if I’m making the wrong decision by letting go or by holding on too tightly?

These aren’t just passing thoughts; they’re deeply rooted fears. To outsiders, it might seem like overprotectiveness or unnecessary worry. But for you, it’s about love – a fierce, all-consuming love that drives your need to keep your child safe.

How Anxiety Affects Moms

Living with this constant vigilance takes a toll, not only on your mental and emotional health but also on your relationship with your child.

• For you. Anxiety can leave you feeling drained, overwhelmed, and even isolated. You might feel misunderstood by other moms or judged for being “too protective.”
• For your child. While your intentions come from love, overprotectiveness can sometimes limit their ability to explore, take risks, and grow independently. Children thrive when given opportunities to learn and make mistakes, but when we hold on too tightly, they may miss those critical experiences.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. The more I tried to control every detail, the more my child resisted. It wasn’t just frustrating, it was heartbreaking. I realized I wasn’t just trying to protect my child; I was also trying to shield myself from the fear of something going wrong.

Common Scenarios Moms with Anxiety Face

If you’re nodding along, you might recognize some of these situations:

• Avoiding Sleepovers. The idea of your child sleeping in someone else’s home, out of your sight, feels unbearable.
• Monitoring Playdates Closely. You prefer playdates in your home so you can oversee everything, from the snacks to the activities.
• Skipping Events You Can’t Attend. If you can’t be there to supervise, you’d rather your child not go at all.
• Worrying About “Small” Risks. You overthink everything from a scraped knee to a playground disagreement.

These behaviors are often misunderstood by others, but they’re familiar to many moms navigating anxiety.

Navigating Anxiety Without Losing Yourself

While the protective instincts behind anxiety come from love, finding balance is essential, both for your well-being and your child’s development. Here are steps to help you navigate this journey:

1. Practice Deep Breathing or Grounding Techniques
   When worry feels overwhelming, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. Try grounding exercises like focusing on your senses – what you see, hear, or feel in the moment – to calm your racing thoughts.
2. Set Realistic Goals
   Start small. If letting go completely feels impossible, begin with baby steps. Maybe it’s allowing a brief playdate at a trusted friend’s house or letting your child attend an event for a short period while you check in.
3. Open Up
   Talk to someone you trust, be it a friend, family member, or therapist. Sharing your fears can be a powerful way to process your emotions and gain perspective.
4. Do an Inventory of Your Needs
   Motherhood often leaves us neglecting ourselves. Ask, “What do I need today?” It could be rest, reassurance, or even time to laugh and recharge. Honoring those needs is an important step in managing anxiety.
5. Offer Presence Instead of Control
   Instead of trying to control every situation, focus on being present when it matters most. Sometimes, your child doesn’t need a solution; they just need to know you’re there.
6. Find Moments of Joy Without Guilt
   Anxiety can make us feel like we have to be “on” all the time. But it’s okay to let yourself enjoy moments of peace and happiness. These moments don’t diminish your love or concern, they refill your cup so you can keep giving.

Leaning on Faith When Anxiety Feels Overwhelming

When I feel like the weight of worry is too much to bear, I remind myself of this verse: “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” – 1 Peter 5:7.

God’s promise is clear: we don’t have to carry our fears alone. Trusting Him doesn’t mean we stop caring or worrying altogether, but it does mean we can find peace in His protection. It’s a daily practice of surrender; of reminding myself that His love for my child is even greater than my own.

Giving Yourself Grace

If you’re a mom who struggles with anxiety, I want you to hear this: You’re doing your best.

You’re not paranoid or “too much.” You’re a mom who loves deeply and fiercely. And while you might not have all the answers, you’re showing up for your child every day in ways that matter.

Balancing anxiety and motherhood isn’t easy, but it’s possible. Some days will feel harder than others, but every small step counts – whether it’s taking a deep breath, saying a prayer, or trusting a little more.

What’s One Small Step You Can Take This Week?

Let’s start small. Maybe this week, you let your child attend an event you’d normally say no to or you open up to someone about how you’re feeling. Maybe it’s simply reminding yourself to breathe when worry creeps in.

You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Just one step, one moment, one prayer at a time. You’ve got this.

Motherhood is a journey of love, learning, and letting go. And you’re navigating it with a heart full of care. Give yourself grace, you’re doing better than you think.